6:45 AM Not going to blog today. Way too depressed. Nobody wants to read that.
6:55 AM OK, maybe I will post. Just this.
Sinking.
Into.
Depression.
Causes:
Unsure of my husband.
Unsure of myself.
That about does it.
7:00 AM Gnashing of teeth. Battle plan: Silent treatment. Let him come to me for once. I'm always the one who has to tap my reservoir of happiness and buoy us both. NOT TODAY. And if that's the beginning of the end, so be it.
7:40 AM Happiness and smiles and yes, even some words.
Default position: Wish I could just crawl out of my skin for awhile. Put myself out there free-floating. Tried medicating with cookies and TV last night. (Cuz that has always worked so well in the past. Snort.)
I am prostrated before this beast. Bare naked, yet cringing and covering my face, wanting to preserve some dignity. Yes, I've done the Ironman, but I still have myself. Didn't outswim, outbike or outrun me. Yet, am I better than I used to be? Used to take days for this. To be able to laugh at myself and see the gross hyperbole.
Box, please.
3 comments:
Hang in there TRiTeacher. Are we actually sure about anything in this crazy world we live in. The bad thing about the off-season, is that we can't rely on disapperaing in our training sometimes. Maybe that is the only thing I'm sure about. "My happy place"
Medicating on total junk food. I'm with that.
I get like that. I felt like that tonight. I think it has to do with my week "off" as I recover from my cold. Hang in there. You'll feel better soon enough.
Hmm, I don't really have smartass or witty comments, but I can offer you an emoticon.
=)
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