Bright Spots

1. Mountains reflected on lakes - Rocky Mountain National Park

2. People who tell it like it is... namely, the Katmai National Park dispatcher that I phoned today for information on packrafting in the park. I was referred to her by a ranger who said, "Um. Not sure. There are bears on these rivers." Yep, got there ahead of you, slick. Katmai is famous for bears.  But at least Slick gave me the number of the dispatcher who knew more about the wilderness rivers.

Her first statement was, "I don't think much of packrafts."

Okay. Proceed delicately. "Is it because of the rivers in your park -- like they don't lend themselves to packrafts -- or something else that you don't like?"

"It's packrafters. They tend to be hikers who buy a raft because they think it'll be cool to float instead of carry a heavy pack. They're not boat people, you know..." And they end up needing rescues.

I laughed because she had nailed it. "Yep, that's pretty much me and my friends.  So, are there any rivers in Katmai that my friends and I could safely do?"

And then she told me about three that were potentials -- or maybe there were four in there. Laced with comments like "The rangers do this one, but make sure you get out before that waterfall, because if you don't, you won't be getting out of anything ever again," and "The Katmai lodge people might take you to the put-in, or they might not," and "That one's mostly flatwater, until it's not. There are parts that will cause you some consternation," and "If you have a lot of money to throw around, you might try..."

She concluded by wishing me well. I might throw some money toward a beer for her when we get to Katmai.

Three Cupcakes, Two Bowls of Ice Cream

There are days and weeks and months when I don't even remember my addiction to sugar. When life flows along smoothly and I hardly think of cookies at all.

Then there are weeks like these. Where I'm clinging to my food diary, clawing for willpower to stick to my recommended daily caloric intake, but I can't stop thinking about cupcakes and as an amputee misses a limb, rolling my tongue around imaginary ice cream. Chocolatey. Creamy. With brownie chunks. In an attempt to see it but not eat it, I google "pastries" and look at the images. I think, "I would buy five of those, two of those, sample that one. Oh, with coffee, or no - with milk, I think."

The google night, only my laziness saved me. I loathe running out to the store. It would mean getting out of my pajamas. And even if I could go through a drive-thru, it's so light out at night that yes, I'd still have to change out of my PJs or risk being seen. I contented myself with images and toast.

But yesterday... I had a bazillion errands to do. PJs already shed. Already in car and on road. Plus I needed legit groceries. So, as a reward for accomplishing my bazillion errands and it must be noted, changing out of my PJs, I purchased cupcakes and ice cream. I have thrown in the towel, surrendered, and retreated to my couch to lick my wounds - and my ice cream spoon.

First Descent: Obstruction Run

I am claiming a first descent of the creek behind my house. If anyone else has done it, I am betting they'll be too abashed at their foolishness to own the feat. In the spirit of first ascensionists naming routes, I have christened it Obstruction Run. It deserves just shy of one star.

Before I went, I knew there would be obstructions. I have walked the path along that creek hundreds of times. But. The extent of the downed limbs, sticking-up rocks, sandy bottom just inches from my boat -- that I did not anticipate. Nor did I anticipate how quickly it would rock my cool. I found myself dragging my boat. Not a great idea when your boat is made out of rubber. Strong rubber, but puncturable rubber that cost me $800.

It was so bloody heavy, I wanted to drag it. It was weighted with my soggy PFD that I didn't need in two foot water, with my tow line that I did need but that soaked up water, and with water I'd onboard every time my optimism would claim me and have me jumping in for a 20 foot ride down the creek. I think I got 20 feet twice. And then I got 200 feet in 5 foot segments before I'd hear the disheartening scrape of rubber on rock. Ugh. At which point, I'd hop out and coax the boat to glide in a channel that would carry it, but sadly not me in it.

Those were the easy hauls when I could lead my boat down the stream, an obedient pony on a string. The hard stuff was when I'd come upon a downed tree or, at one point, a barrel that blocked the width of the creek. Sometimes I could step over it, raft on my shoulder. Other times - and these would make your mama cry - I had to climb the steep bank, thrashing through ever-pliable and ever-snappy and poky willows, careful to protect my $800 rubber and sacrificing my skin in its place. Those areas quickly lost their charm.

What was charming was seeing my trail from the creekside. Hiking partners and I have always noted how a trail looks brand new when you turn around and do it in reverse. Same with this. It was a new neighborhood to me. I saw a homeless shelter erected along the trail and heard some man clearing his nasal passages inside the blanketed tent. A deer was agog with curiosity to see me and my big yellow raft and watched me for several minutes. (It then had the sense to take a drink, and follow a trail back to where it had come from.) A skinny little water snake wriggled its way upstream. Flax and leafy spurge cupped their faces to catch the sun in the meadow where I stopped to catch my breath and dump water from my waterproof socks and boat, then submit my face and sodden self to the sun.

And then there's the knowledge that I had to do it. I had to know if my backyard was navigable. It is not. I see no reason to carry my boat its length again. This first descent of the Obstruction Run will probably be the last. If people have any sense.

Diana & Buddy For Today

I want to know so much more about her. And her little dog too.

I've been biking past her for two months, wondering how cold she must be on that bench. Wondering why she's there at all and not at the local shelter. Hoping she'll be there another day, the next day, when I screw up my courage to finally talk to her. Two weeks ago I worked up the courage to say "Hello" as I rode past, and I've been doing that every time since. I had a twenty in my pocket one time when I went to the store close to her bridge, but I couldn't do it.

Today I did it. I set out from my house and walked to her bridge, hoping against hope she was there. Then seeing her and feeling ebullient. Then deflated as I worried that she'd yell at me if I tried to talk to her. But determined. I had to try.

My parents' message about homeless people was "Look away. Don't make eye contact. Keep walking." We only saw homeless when we went to Minneapolis or Milwaukee. In my little hometown, there was no such thing. Is that why my normally-humanitarian parents had such a harsh message? Because the strangeness and overwhelming nature of the big city intimidated them too? Was it only a childhood message that they would now change to me as an adult child?

Two bikers rode under the bridge as I got within hailing distance of her. I almost lost courage. I felt shame that they would see me approaching her. I let them bike by and then called out to her.

"Hi. I was really hoping you'd be here today. I've been riding by and saying hi to you."

Murky eyes turned my way, and her little dog lunged toward my voice, peeling his way out of her sleeping bag.

"Hi. What's your name?"

And like that, I told her. And she told me - Diana and Buddy. Everyone calls him "Buddy Love" because he loves everybody. Did she need anything? Some chicken and a Pepsi would be nice, because she's blind. She can give me money. Could I get it?

I did. I walked to the store and returned to then help her unstick her sleeping bag zipper. "It was new when he gave it to us to use." Because of it, she's warm enough at night. But she would like a radio. "Can you find me a radio to listen to?" Am I sure I don't want money for the chicken and pop?

I will find her a radio. And maybe I'll move in closer and find out her story. I have so many questions. Why is she there? How long has she been homeless? Who else is giving her things? Are people good to her? Does she feel safe? Was she always blind? Is that why she's homeless? Where is her family?

But today, I got in closer. They are Diana and Buddy.