Saturday, August 23, 2008

7 - 2 = 4??

I've forgotten how to subtract. Or something akin to it. I know this phenomenon. I've witnessed it in my students countless times when I introduce a complex new process, e.g. long division. Suddenly, kids who've been subtracting beautifully since the 2nd grade forget they ever even knew how. Their brain is spread too thin trying to grasp the whole divide, multiply, subtract, bring-it-down process of long division.

That is me in this new job. I've forgotten basic things. I am a space cadet, a walking hazard to the planet. I double book myself for meetings, I respond to parents in ways I've never responded before, I forget things. And I realize that it is happening and then second guess myself all the more. Eejah. It is horrible.

I know what it is - I am overwhelmed right now, my poor little neural energy tapped right out - but it doesn't help my feelings of utter inadequacy.

I benchmark this spot because I know that someday I will regain my old automaticity. I will get my groove back. I will be the teacher and reading specialist that I once was: organized, with-it, there for kids and parents and other teachers, a trusted resource. For now... 1+1 = 2, 2+2 =4.

I think.

9 comments:

jwm said...

you have identified it.

now own it.

soon you will be on the other side.

-jwm

Unknown said...

New school, new surroundings, new situation. I'm guessing you'll work through this in no time.

Anonymous said...

You'll be back to yourself in no time. Until then, welcome to my world ;)

Fe-lady said...

Sounds like a bike ride is in store soon!
(Nothing gets the old brain back in motion like a long ride or run...or hike!)

KK said...

This first week has been NUTZ-don't beat yourself up too badly...You are in an entirely new state and district. Don't worry, things will fall into place, and all this newness takes MAJOR getting used to. That's what I hate about the beginning of every year: we have how we ended the previous year on the brain and forget how much work goes into the beg. to ensure success for the rest of the year-it's hard!

I loved this line: "I am a space cadet, a walking hazard to the planet"

You'll have your groove back in no time.

Team Brazo said...

I always had that same feeling when I started a new job - but I'm guessing no one else notices.

Have fun, relax, it'll all come back in a bit...

triguyjt said...

hey.... new school new state...new co teachers...new kids...new books...new new..new...

but soon you will feel very comfy...like you
ve been there a long time...
good luck

1 plus 1 equals 2 one's

Steve Stenzel said...

Hang in there!!! Stick with the basics!!

Michelle said...

I totally know where you're coming from. I started a new job in Novemeber and feel like I'm finally starting to come around. Hang in there, it'll get better!